THINGS NO ONE TELLS YOU BEFORE YOU HAVE KIDS

  1. You are never going to catch up to the current episodes of the TV shows you used to watch.
  2. For a significant number of years, you will never go to the bathroom without someone watching you.
  3. They know when you're sneaking dessert. They just know, even if you're in a different room.
  4. I hope you like wiping runny noses.
  5. Some children will still be waking up at night when they're two and a half. Sorry.
  6. Children's books are mostly not that awesome, and even the good ones get boring after a while, and it's totally bad form to try to check Facebook on your phone while reading your kid Goodnight Moon for the 474th time.
  7. Do you like going out to eat? You can still do that, but it will be quite surprisingly stressful.
  8. Diapers leak all the time.
  9. They stop napping. Quickly.
  10. Despite all of this, you will love them anyway.