WORST ANSWERS TO MY TWO-YEAR-OLD'S QUESTION YESTERDAY, "WHERE THE DINOSAURS?"

  1. "Under your crib, waiting to eat you."
  2. "At grandma and grandpa's house."
  3. "Dinosaurs are imaginary, like global warming, or poverty."
  4. "They live at the doctor's office, one more reason to be excited to go there."
  5. "They used to be everywhere, but then you were born and they disappeared so-- hey-- maybe it's your fault they're gone."
  6. "I'm not sure, but one of them might one day grow in mommy's tummy, so keep an eye out for it."
  7. "What do you think was in the ravioli last night?"
  8. "In the pantry, waiting to kidnap mommy and daddy after you go to sleep."
  9. "They're invisible. And standing right next to you with their mouths open wide."
  10. "They live in the toilet. Ready to try potty training?"
  11. "You mean you don't see them? Uh oh."
  12. "What do you mean where the dinosaurs? We ARE dinosaurs."