Things You Should Do If You Want Me To Hate You

  1. Sit with your "significant other" on the same side of a restaurant table
  2. Carry your dog outside
  3. Tell me you're so full from lunch yesterday you "just couldn't eat anything more right now"
  4. Talk about your college sorority
    Oh my god, that IS crazy!
  5. Act like Caitlyn Jenner's life actually affects you