A running list of things I need to tell my therapist

  1. I bought Doritos
  2. I think my car judges me when I lock it three times as I walk away
  3. I'm intimidated by the contestants on Project Runway Junior
  4. I randomly started skipping down the street. (True story, and she is gonna be psyched that I'm enjoying things occasionally)
  5. I am incapable of making a dermatologist appointment.
  6. I keep registering domains that are basically subtweets.
  7. Every time my phone rings I vomit.
  8. I've convinced myself I can pull off this fedora the cat pissed on. (I'll have to wear it to therapy I guess)