never made it as my twitter bios, a running list

  1. this is what a 40yo bisexual divorcé/former cult member and wanna be drag queen looks like (h/t @Lisa_Fav)
  2. i always say i'm doing fine but really everything is a disaster, so i guess i'm just another american
  3. my only life hack is low expectations
  4. sorry my life didn't come in a matte finish
  5. if you can't fuck yourself, how the hell you gonna fuck somebody else? can i get an amen?
  6. you're born naked, and the rest is (a) drag
  7. never say no to analog
  8. don't fuck with me I watch a lot of procedurals
  9. I have Tori Amos's "Under the Pink" on pink vinyl
  10. i listen to bands that don't even exist yet
  11. I talk about speaking in tongues far too often
  12. I'm done doing things