Resolutions and Goals (2017)

  1. Learn how to keep heart rate below 85 when required to have a non-scheduled conversation
  2. Learn how to keep heart rate below 100 when required to have a scheduled conversation
  3. Answer questions without sweating or running
  4. Not take more than 20 minutes hovering above the publish button on any social media platform in fear that I've said something stupid, tone-deaf or unfunny.
  5. Record 3 songs about my irrational fear of recording songs
  6. Play songs in front of people again, without requiring 9 drinks or MDMA
  7. Shower every week
  8. Stop lying to my therapist
  9. Cook something that requires a fork or a spoon every week
  10. Get my own drug dealer
  11. Go to the dentist
  12. And that ear throat and nose doctor
  13. 2 more tattoos
  14. Wash my car twice
  15. Answer 3 calls from unknown callers
  16. High five a stranger from my bike
  17. Do a line of coke from my bike
  18. Use my passport twice, well four times if we're counting the in and the out—3 works as well
  19. High five a stranger in another country
  20. Do a line of coke in another country
  21. To never high five someone while on coke
  22. Dance through the soles of at least one pair of shoes
  23. Hide bags of coke in every pair of shoes I own
  24. To stop making jokes about cocaine
  25. To not have to explain why I switched from saying coke to cocaine in this list
  26. To exercise more and maybe quit smoking.