Salt Lamp Advice

@ashleycardiff and I want a salt lamp. We don't know anything about them except that most purveyors are liars. Tell us where to buy. Tell us what to buy.
  1. They look like this I think.
  2. We need them ions!!
  3. SAMs sells them!!
    Suggested by   @torihyder
  4. To save time you can just call them slamps
    Suggested by   @jeb