Thoughts on My 39th Birthday

  1. I only have 365 more days to live
  2. Am I sterile?
  3. Will l ever be carded again?
  4. I only have 365 days left to smoke
  5. Holy shit that's like 4000 cigarettes
  6. Maybe I should quit now
  7. I'm definitely sterile
  8. I can't believe I'm eating processed cheese but these bowling alley nachos make me feel young
  9. I have t-shirts older than some people I drink with regularly
  10. I should've stored some of my seed.
  11. You actually bought khakis this year
  12. Fuck it, I love smoking
  13. Why the fuck did you call it seed?
  14. Oh my god that cheese is making me ill
  15. But the khakis are cooler than normal khakis, right? I don't know anymore
  16. I don't need to have kids anyways
  17. You need to throw those khakis away
  18. Will I ever sleep with a man again?
  19. I don't even like these fucking t-shirts
  20. I need a skateboard
  21. I bet smoking made me sterile
  22. Kiiiinda want more nachos