1. Day drunk
    I'm so day drunk right now.
  2. Hungry
  3. While driving
    Texting is bad enough, you menace.
  4. Fishing
    Just enjoy that nothing is going to happen for the rest of the day.
  5. At a baseball game
    Same reason as above.
  6. Within an hour of eating
    You'll be wittier after you digest.
  7. While swimming
    Same reason as above (if after eating), but with the added risk of cramping. Jk, that's a fucking myth.
  8. Ok, fine, I guess all of these times are fine except while driving because only assholes do anything but drive while driving.
    You menace.
  9. While skiing.
    Suggested by @gwcoffey
  10. In the middle of your audition for The Voice
    Suggested by @nakajima