How to Survive Extreme Heat Wearing Dark Clothes

  1. Don't go outside
    Avoid sunlight at all costs as this is where heat comes from.
  2. Walk slowly
    Moving is unfortunately necessary as you're alive and only dead people have the ability not to move. Make your movements as brief as possible because even not moving will make you sweat.
  3. Get back indoors ASAP if you do go outside
    You will melt.
  4. Wear sunglasses
    Scientifically proven to fool your brain into thinking its a later, much cooler time of day.
  5. Ice
    A good temporary generator of cold
  6. Stay anti-social
    If you're outdoors and run into somebody you know they'll trap you by wanting to talk to you. This will keep you outdoors for longer while you try to get back indoors. Fortunately the sunglasses will guard you from eye contact so you can walk straight past them pretending you didn't see them.