THINGS I NEVER PUT ON INSTAGRAM BECAUSE IT WOULD RUIN MY REPUTATION
- •When I over-eat fast food.I can't have people knowing how many calories I eat some days.
- •When I eat meat.I hate meat and claim vegetarian but eat chicken once and a while. It's usually fast food. #classy
- •When I have greasy hair.Flat hair, round face.
- •My messy bathroom.Makeup, brushes, garbage, more makeup, towels, dirty clothes. It was a tornado, I swear.
- •Photos that accurately display my body shape.Angle the camera downward, elongate the face, adjust the lighting, apply a filter. Cellulite doesn't inspire "likes".
- •When I eat junky food.Ice cream, maple bacon kettle chips, Reese's, fried rice.
- •Cheap wine.I don't know the last time I've spent more than $9 on a bottle of wine. Cheap thrills.