THINGS I SAID TO MY CAT TODAY

  1. If you trip me and I break my leg, you will not get fed
  2. Get out of the way, you stupid cat
  3. What the hell is wrong with you? This is in response to her racing around like a maniac for 15 minutes.
  4. I'm not taking you to the emergency vet because you fell on your stupid head while trying to reach the computer upside down.