THINGS I DID IN JAPAN THAT I DO NOT TYPICALLY DO

  1. Got naked in very hot water with dozens of elderly Asian women
  2. Followed a closeted father-of-three salaryman into a smoky gay basement karaoke bar
  3. Belted Billy Joel publicly, unironically
  4. Witnessed a Frenchman singing his heart out to Japanese opera
  5. Took this photograph
  6. Ate all of the fish in the sea
  7. Went outside dressed as my dog, without my dog
  8. Pressed a button that made water find its way up my bung