WHAT HAVING MONO AT THE AGE OF 23 DOES TO YOUR LIFE

I have mono and I'm 23. It's way too late for this to be happening.
  1. You miss work. Like a lot of work. Sorry, work. I'm missing so much of you because I'm literally sleeping almost 18 hours a day.
  2. You become close, personal best friends with your dogs.
  3. You have to tell people you have mono, a virus trendy in high school
  4. You wonder if you need to tell everyone you smooch in the past couple of months that you have mono. Do I?
  5. I'm not smooching too much but what's the protocol?
  6. You start to use the word 'smooching' a lot
  7. Going to a store for an hour is a huge excursion that causes you to sleep for about two hours afterwards
  8. You can't watch the new Inside Amy Schumer because you don't want to miss any of it due to accidental sleeping