Things I cannot get mad at my husband for and why

  1. Dirty socks left strewn about the house
    ...Hamilton tickets.
  2. Farting near me for laughs to Hamilton.
  3. Guilting me into sexual activities
  4. Leaving filthy dishes with food stuck on them in his office
  5. Ordering yet another ridiculous thing from Amazon ... Yes, a drone... To "get a better view of our house." 🙄
  6. Snoring so loudly that I want to punch him in the kidney
  7. He can literally do anything, punch me in the face, piss on the floor, burn my favorite pair of socks... And then I remember he bought me Hamilton tickets and I get to see the show in 3 days.
    ....and I realize that, I have married the most perfect human being alive (except, of course, Lin-Manuel Miranda.)