Things I have learned, now that I've had three kids

Everyday is a new discovery!
  1. Don't ever get caught throwing ANY artwork away. It will melt your kid into a puddle of boogers and tears.
  2. You will never pee alone... Ever. Don't bother trying.
  3. Oh, you thought you could teach your kids not to be messy, so you went out and bought a white sofa...ours is a dreary grey. Awesome.
  4. Don't waste time scrubbing your walls, hand you kids a fistful of wipes and tell them to go to town. Boom!
  5. So, you went shopping and picked out amazing outfits for your kids, expecting them to love them. Nope. Your five year olds sense of style doesn't include anything that makes sense.
  6. There will always be weird things in their hair and they will never let you take it out.
  7. Your television will always have some form of ridiculous cartoon disaster playing.
  8. They absolutely love lunch snacks one week, next week it is the devil. So glad I bought goldfish in bulk.
  9. They are rarely quiet, but when the are, bad, bad, bad things are happening.
  10. They are rockstars and better than any other kid on the block!