1:18 AM ON A WEDNESDAY

  1. I have a hard time with myself sometimes, but that doesn't define me.
  2. I am good friend, but it takes me years to get close with somebody.
  3. Once I form a bond with a person, I'm loyal and I care a lot.
  4. I also get mean with them and we're hilarious together.
  5. This process cannot be rushed.
  6. I like being alone throughout the day: I'm agressively introverted.
  7. I have good days and bad days, but on the bad days it can be hard to remember the good days.
  8. I feel like I lose months and months from my memory sometimes.
  9. Was I not present in these times on purpose?
  10. If so, is that a bad thing? If it kept me moving forward?
  11. I like this nice weather.
  12. I like daydreaming about the future, about goals that seem like an alternate universe--
  13. because here on Earth, I keep my expectations low so that I don't get disappointed.
  14. I like being alone.
  15. Sometimes when I'm with another person, it feels like I'm moving through maple syrup, slow motion.
  16. In a different time signature than them.
  17. I'm listening, but some part of me is somewhere else.
  18. I doodle, I scroll, I pick at things.
  19. And when I can't do that, I disappear a little bit.
  20. Why is it only on the good days that I feel like I'm really here?