CHAPTER TITLES FOR THE BOOK ABOUT MY LIFE

  1. That Cheese Was A Bad Idea And I Knew It So Why Do I Keep Doing This To Myself
  2. I Need To Pack But I Will Just Sit Here Until Morning
  3. Yo Was It Really Obvious I Messed Up
  4. Even My Dog Hates Me
  5. Somebody Go On Instagram And Like My Picture, This Is Embarrassing
  6. Constant Stress And Awkward Misunderstandings
  7. The Truth Resists Simplicity
  8. Never Wear Real Pants Or Bras
  9. Potatoes Are Not Ugly
  10. Am I Watching This Ironically
  11. I Like To Do Either Five Things At The Same Time Or Nothing At All
  12. Listen To The Original Broadway Cast Recording
  13. Crying bc Chem
  14. My Wifi Was Off The Whole Time I Was At Home
  15. National Puppy Day Is Every Day In My Heart
  16. Crying In School Classrooms Because of This American Life
  17. I Am The Trash Of The Thing
  18. Purple Lipstick, Green Tea, Black Soul
  19. I'm Just So Proud Of Lin
  20. Hot Guys Giving Puppy Cuddles
  21. Thirty Ninety
  22. How Do You Be Hopeful Without Being Full Of Shit
  23. Who Is The Person I Accidentally Followed Or Unfollowed Today
  24. Burgundy Is The New Mint Green