GUACAMOLE

  1. OKAY I LOVE GUACAMOLE LET'S GET INTO IT LET'S GO
  2. okay so I don't live in a place where avocados are cheap or available year-round so it's pretty special
    though sometimes I am desperate and get the pre-packaged avocado when it's on sale since that's all I've got at my local grocery right now, and use that to make guacamole
  3. guacamole is not simply mashed avocado. I believe this firmly in my soul. avocado toast (generally) does not have guacamole on it (unless that's the gimmick) , people!
    as an aside, my avocado toast = lots of black pepper, a huge dump of red pepper, a tiny dash of salt, all mixed in with avocado on top of rye toasted a medium amount
  4. I do not like onions usually, especially raw onions. I avoid them in salads. However, I do like them in guacamole.
  5. I love cilantro. I decidely do not have the cilantro soap gene. Cilantro can fuck me up. Give me cilantro in my guacamole.
  6. I am trash for some hint of lime tostitos, frankly. However, warm, fresh, actual real tortilla chips cannot be matched i'm emotional just thinking about it.
  7. Don't go overboard with the tomatoes you guys. If I'm thinking about the tomatoes, that's way too much tomato
  8. you guys know how to cut an avocado in that way, right? kinda sorta like how you cut a mango where you, like, make a hashtag (lol I remember when I was taught this as a child there was no such word as hashtag) with your knife
  9. Texture. Wow. I am a texture person. I like my stuffed animals a specific way. I love the gush of sushi and mush of nice rice. Avocados have an a plus plus texture and this makes guacamole totally lit.
  10. FUCK THAT PEA THING WHAT THE HELL
    I say this as a girl whose favorite color is green and will make herself enjoy and eventually obsess over foods just because they are a beautiful shade of green. But we do not play gods here. We keep good things good and quit while we are ahead. In this infinite life of sin, I do not need nor desire nor accept peas in my guacamole.
  11. Lemon and/or lime. I am on board. As it were, I love fish a lot and try to eat a solid amount of vegetables so basically I am super used to being absolutely all in for just a nice big old squeeze of citrus on my shit, anytime, anywhere. Let me tell you, it improves almost everything.
  12. this being said, I am a thoroughly average maker of guacamole. I am an outstanding eater of guacamole, though. I can eat a gigantic amount of it and savour every bit.
  13. Thank you, this has been guacamole.
    also, tequila goes gr8 with guacamole bye