IN WHICH I PROJECT ONTO MY DOG

  1. so here i am tryna watch House of Cards
  2. and my dog won't stop barking
  3. like he's lying on the floor all emo one second
  4. then, woofing so hard he is propelling himself in the air the next
  5. some context: he is a very small ball of fluff
  6. and I told him to stop and that I was trying to watch a television programme
  7. and then I backtracked because HOC isn't a tv show really, it's a Netflix original
  8. and while I was doing that, I realized
  9. that my dog was barking at his reflection in the glass door
  10. so I told him that this was him, it was just his reflection, not another dog
  11. I picked him up, he was shaking a lil, and I took him into the bathroom and showed him himself in the mirror
  12. and he stopped and I set him down
  13. and he started barking at his reflection again
  14. and he barked a couple more times
  15. and then he was silent
  16. still staring at himself in the glass door, really close up
  17. and I was like damn
  18. this dog
  19. just a couple of minutes ago I was like, dogs won't disappoint you
  20. a dog will never vote for Donald Trump
  21. a dog will never make you feel like shit, or like nothing
  22. but maybe my dog right now doesn't feel that way about himself
  23. I mean, like, probably not, he probably just thinks it's another dog
  24. but watching my dog stare in his reflection reminded me a little too much of me
  25. staring in the mirror at the little scars and spots and scales on my face
  26. and thinking about those marks, but really thinking about the bigger things I don't like about myself, and the things I'm not gonna be able to do
  27. and what if my dog doesn't know that he has made such a huge difference in my life and he doesn't know that he's like a hero and he's done so much, and he's enough
  28. so maybe sometimes, like how you have to treat yourself like you would treat your best friend
  29. you have to treat yourself like you would treat your dog
  30. ??????????