STUPID BAGEL-RELATED SLANG I HAVE USED WITHOUT THINKING AND SUBSEQUENTLY HAD TO EXPLAIN

Inspired by @lizabeth
  1. douchebagel
    self-explanatory
  2. douchebagelo-bagelo
    more intense form of douchebagel
  3. hot holy sesame bagels!
    holy shit!
  4. you're JUST a bagel
    you're a fake-ass loser
  5. you are a BAGEL
    a compliment