TWEETS I NEVER SENT

Inspired by @kaitlynvella
  1. my idea of a french tip manicure is dried blood under my fingernails
  2. there is a significant number of people with whom i made and/or maintained contact with for only their cute dogs
  3. a sitcom abt the guards at buckingham palace being called GUARDians of the PALace-y #somanypuns
  4. look at this picture of me i was worried i had tide to go in my eye
  5. i'n just waiting for my laptop to charge so i can have a bubble bath while watching hunchback of notre dame and drinking green tea and mikes hard
  6. lol f this I'm going to watch either brother bear or pulp fiction on netflix in my bed on my phone school tmrw is dead 2 me
  7. i was gonna unfollow u bc idec abt u but then u posted a cute and/or hot selfie: a memoir
  8. TEEN ANGST ALERT: I hate how happiness is so fleeting and feeling bad abt urself is constant
  9. i drafted like 6 🔥 tweets in ap lit ninth period today #thinkingcritically
  10. lbr looking for alaska is just heterosexual a seperate peace
  11. MOSTLY PILLS AND WEED U WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW EASY IT IS TO GET PILLS AND WEED SRSLY THESE KIDS NEED TO LEARN THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES IN LIFE
  12. if I don't like somebody, I won't talk to them or even give them eye contact srryabtit negativity brings down my day u r dead 2 me
  13. some hip duets to sing w urself in ur head -wheels of a dream -ur the top -champagne -ten minutes ago 💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉
  14. ideas for an early brithday present to me: Why Not Me by Mindy Kaling ideas for a late birthday present to me: a physical cd of Hamilton
  15. legitimate question have u ever seen somebody look real cool in transition lenses? like i always feel like the ray ban ones sound like an amazing idea but still wouldnt work out
  16. remember when james mcavoy hit chris pratt in the face with a keyboard and the letters that flew off spelled fuck you
  17. sweet job rhyming "love" with "love" AND "baby" with "baby"
  18. after watching whiplash, you will nvr be able to drink an ice cold pitcher of hi c fruit punch the same way ever again
  19. does he use gel or kohl eyeliner? do he and alan cumming exchange liner tipz? does he find outback steakhouse amusing or tacky? I wonder abt tim minchin a lot
  20. .
    ps for more #quality #content like this follow me @ urghjess I want to stalk u across platforms tbh. i know, shameless