1. You have a beard?!?
    Yes, I am aware.
  2. Why is part of your beard red?
    I don't know, but I assume genetics is involved.
  3. Can I touch your beard?
    Do you enjoy having hands?
  4. When was the last time you shaved?
    A while ago.
  5. Can I have your beard?
    Sorry, but I'm kind of attached to it.