WAYS IN WHICH PARENTHOOD HAS BROKEN US

  1. Today Mike took a really long time to park the car just so he could listen to Tame Impala alone without someone yelling at him to turn the music off
  2. Wandering around Fairway in Red Hook dead eyed at 8 am is a Sunday activity
  3. Used to have a great memory for names and faces; now am one of those assholes who doesn't remember people I've met once or sometimes multiple times
  4. Heart feels like it's wandering outside body, on accounta all that love for a tiny monster