THE SORTS OF SENTENCES I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY

  1. "Get back inside the house, young lady! We don't go outside naked."
  2. "No, daddy's nipples don't have milk. No, you can't just try a little bit."
  3. "Eh, she had a bath the day before yesterday. Let's skip it tonight."
  4. "No, we don't ask people if they're pregnant or if their tummy is just round."
  5. "Sure, eat crackers in the bathtub. Why not?"
  6. "Want to go to McDonald's for lunch?"
  7. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have flushed the toilet. You can say goodbye to your poop next time."
  8. "Yes, your polka dot shirt and zebra striped leggings and plaid socks DO look lovely together!"
  9. "Stop eating the palo verde blossoms!"
  10. "Get your toothbrush out of your vagina."