TIMES PARENTING MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE A JERK

  1. When (as you hide in the pantry, stealthily eating a cookie), you realize that you just told them "we don't eat sweets for breakfast!" less than 10 minutes ago.
  2. When you start to get stern with your older kid about (yet again) not eating her dinner, five seconds *before* noticing her plate is empty.
  3. When you notice the horrifying state of their toenails.
  4. When you write a whole list about your toddler's middle of the night tantrum. (IT'S 1:14 AM AND I'M SO GROUCHY (A TODDLER-RAGE INSPIRED LIST))
    Only to take your older daughter (who has been complaining about her ear) to the pediatrician, and then ask the dr to look at the toddler's ears too, and discover she apparently has a raging double ear infection. 😳😳😳