Finally reading Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

My current thoughts and reactions from reading the new Harry Potter. I've stayed away from most spoilers and other peoples' lists.
  1. This stage direction😯
    Since when did Ron become the jokester of the group
  2. There's a secret time turner and Scorpius rumored to be Voldemort's son
    Wait what??!! For real? Now I see why people have been it comparing to fan fiction
  3. Albus gets sorted in Slytherin
    Saw that coming
  4. The candy lady is a weird mythical gatekeeper 😱
    She will use her candy as grenades and transform into a terrifying monster to make sure you stay on the train.
  5. Going back in time seems like a terrible idea
    So much could go wrong.
  6. See I told you
  7. Alternate Universe where Snape is still alive😃
  8. Will update more as I continue to read
  9. Update: Snape 😭
  10. Update: This double cross by Delphi was fairly obvious
  11. Okay...
  12. What
  13. Is
  14. Happening!?
  15. Voldemort had a kid?????
  16. How???
    This makes absolutely no sense.
  17. This crazy time travel business reads like some science fiction show
    Like a bizarre episode of Doctor Who
  18. Final Thoughts:
    If this play ever comes to the US or is taped, I would be interested in seeing it because the staging sounds intriguing. But as a straight story, it in no way reads like a Harry Potter book and like many other people have said it seems way more like a fan fic.