1. "I hope Andy dies because I'm moving back in with mom."
    My married male friend about his brother, Andy, who was preparing to hike the Appalachian trail (and who lives at home with his mother), and my married friend's desire to have his laundry done and all meals prepared for him by mom in the wake of Andy's untimely death.
  2. "Y'all and him are the same height. You should get a discount."
    A very large group being served at 3:00 in the morning at a New Jersey diner while I too was dining. The waiter and one member of the party were the same height, and a brief discussion amongst the others deemed a discount was in order.
  3. "When the 'boo' comes out, you ain't gettin shit."
    Same party at the diner (3:00 AM). A female at the table referred to a male at the same table as "boo" in hopes of procuring a French fry from him. A third party at the table set the record straight with this zing.
  4. "That life is long, that people Both change and remain the same, that every last one of us will need to fuck up and be forgiven, that we're all just walking and walking and walking." Dear Sugar
    Because I like to read Dear Sugar columns when I can't sleep.
  5. "Norm is the average?"
    During a discussion I overheard between a white woman and a black woman regarding race in which the white woman argued that racism was not the norm but may very well be the average. Had a brain aneurism trying to wrap my head around what she meant, still giving myself this aneurism.