1. It's been 2 days since I last washed my hair and it still looks good.
    I don't trust it. What's going on?
  2. My husband told Siri I want her to call me "You Dumb Slut" and she's busted out with it twice today.
    Keep meaning to fix, but it makes me smile.
  3. Tubbs keeps eating all the food.
  4. The turmeric in my smoothie was overpowering.
  5. My dog wants to spend too much time with me.
    On me.
  6. The neighbor's wind chime is simultaneously soothing and irritating.