MY BRAND OF FEMININITY
This is the actual and authentic list inspired by @chrisfon. Edited to add photos!
- •High waisted jeans are the shitI have a small waist and small ribs and these make me feel like I can run the world. My boyfriend calls them MOM JEANS and I DO NOT CARE.
- •Flood pantsI deliberately hem all my pants a little bit too short. (I tell myself that) it creates the illusion that my legs are just TOO LONG to be contained by pants! Also: bare ankles.
- •EyebrowsAre things on fleek any more? Because my eyebrows are.
- •Good postureMy grandma used to playfully poke my ribs and my back to get me to stand up straight. Now, I think about keeping my sternum up and not allowing my ribs to sink and put unnecessary pressure on my internal organs.
- •Good skinI have keratosis pilaris all over my body, so I have never felt like I had good skin. I thought that studying nutrition science would give me a solution, but sadly science has focused on other issues. I've been taking some amazing supplements lately that have made a huge difference, and it's remarkable how much more confident I feel knowing that my skin looks nice. All that stuff they say on skin care infomercials about the shame you feel when you have bad skin is totally true.
- •IndependenceBecause I'm fierce and smart, I can figure this out on my own.
- •Community...but I don't always want to. Being able to connect with and support others is such a gift.
- •Bare anklesIf I didn't live in Toronto and have to contend with winter, I would flash my ankles every single day.
- •Bare collarbonesTops that expose collarbones just feel the girliest to me.
- •Bare faceReal, honest-to-goodness skin is the best. No makeup, just happiness.
- •PassionNot romance-novel-trash passion, but loving waking up every day and pursuing things that light you up.
- •ConfidenceIf you don't own it, nobody else will want to either.
- •Self careTuning into your body and taking care of yourself is way harder than it sounds. It's important for me to continually check in and make sure I'm honoring my natural rhythms and not just getting swept up in the world.
- •Hidden talentsThere's no need to lay all your cards on the table. I associate femininity with having multiple diverse talents, but only broadcasting a few. So while you are seen as fabulous and capable you can also surprise people by translating into French for tourists or baking an amazing cake or playing all of Beethoven's Fifth by memory or wiring a new light switch. No, I will not tell you what my hidden talents are, but they will reveal themselves at the appropriate moment and you will be SO IMPRESSED.
- •Using feminine power to collapse the patriarchyNotice I'm not talking about smashing the patriarchy? I like things to be a bit more subtle and gentle. The collapse will come because the patriarchy falls apart from a combination of internal and external forces. I'm happy to be playing my part.
- •Giving zero fucksEdited to add because I cannot believe I forgot this! As soon as I stopped caring what others thought and focused on what I really wanted, the world just opened up. Putting yourself first isn't selfish; it's how you survive.