Things Driving Me Crazy in This Doctor's Waiting Room

Is this hell? Am I in hell?
  1. There is a man playing a game on his phone with the volume all the way up
  2. The TV is playing a 5 minute PSA about heat stroke prevention on a loop
    I have now heard the phrase "cool off in the shade" 1,000,000,000 times
  3. The only magazines here are WebMD magazine
    Why is there a WebMD magazine?! Is WebMD trying to hedge its bets in case the Internet is only a fad??
  4. Had to fill out 5 forms that all asked the same exact questions in slightly different ways
  5. I pay $200 a month for insurance that literally no doctors accept
  6. The man playing games on his phone is creepily hitting on the lady behind the desk and I hate him
  7. I have to come in for an appointment with my assigned primary care physician in order to get referred to a gynecologist for a simple yearly exam
  8. This appointment costs me $45 and the only purpose is a referral
    And then I'll have to pay a co-pay again when I finally get the the gynecologist
  9. There is a timer going off somewhere that no one else seems to hear
  10. I forgot to bring a book
  11. The creepy man is now filling out his forms, after a five minute argument about whether or not they'd given him a pen (they had), and he keeps asking me questions about how I filled my forms out as if it's a test he can cheat on
  12. My nose is running and there are no Kleenex in the waiting room
    How is that possible?! What kind of doctor's office is this?!
  13. The TV finally changed to something else and its an in-depth investigation about how store bought apple sauce is ruining America
    At least I think that's what it's about. I'm currently trying to block everything out and imagine myself on a beach. Or anywhere less annoying than here, like the DMV or a super religious wedding ceremony.
  14. The creepy man finished filling out his forms, turned them in, and then moved to a chair closer to me. He is now playing his phone game with the volume all the way up again.
  15. Maybe I don't need a doctor