Things I Ate Today on My Last Day of Work

It's our last week of filming and crafty has gone all out...
  1. Coffee and yogurt from craft service breakfast
  2. A waffle sundae with coffee and cookie ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate sauce and bananas from Waffles de Liege truck ALSO FOR BREAKFAST
    I then barfed up some of the ice cream...
  3. Carrots and cucumber strips covered in ranch dressing
  4. A bottle of apple juice
  5. Six cocktail shrimps with various flavorings
  6. Grilled asparagus, carrots and sunchokes
    Don't be fooled by the vegetables, people. They were just there to make my plate look nice and make my pee smell funny.
  7. An unnecessary amount of penne pasta with smoky tomato sauce
  8. Fillet mignon with sauce and horseradish
  9. Dinner roll with a full pat of butter
  10. An ice cream sundae in a waffle bowl with three wafer cookies from an ice cream truck
    You'd think I wouldn't do this after I already THREW UP ice cream this morning but you'd be wrong
  11. Chicken taco meat
  12. Sweet and sour chicken on top of fried rice
  13. Part of a black bean empanada
  14. Some watermelon
    I think I was dehydrated at this point and watermelon has water in its name
  15. Two glasses of champagne
  16. Two beers
  17. Then I unbuttoned my pants in public and cried a little
    Now I'm unemployed. Do you have a job for me? I can eat a lot if that impresses a potential employer.