Things I Learned on Thanksgiving

Not specifically this Thanksgiving, but all the Thanksgivings of my life
  1. My dad thought my first "boyfriend" (I was 12) was a little child I was babysitting.
    To be fair, he was about two feet shorter than me.
  2. My mom encouraged me to move in with my "fiancé" (I was 19) because she knew we weren't mature enough to live together and it would cause us to break up.
    Very conniving, but ultimately genius. We broke up after three months.
  3. I am really bad at judging how big of a turkey to buy.
    I once bought a thirty pound turkey for eight people. It was too big to fit in the oven.
  4. My dad didn't really want to have me.
    He seems okay with it now.
  5. Sweet potatoes are pretty delicious.
  6. My thirteen year old cousin thinks I'm too old for Instagram.
    She also thinks "social media is a waste of time. But I mean I guess if you don't have anything better to do."
  7. Thanksgiving is a really bad time to break up with someone. Especially when their family has invited your family to a different state.
    It was pretty awkward for my parents...
  8. My high school boyfriend's grandma thought Jews were demons.
    It was hard to tell what she was saying because she only spoke Greek, but she crossed herself a lot and refused to sit next to my Dad.
  9. My dad still smokes pot on the regular.
    I met his drug dealer. He's a man I thought worked at my dad's company. But he didn't. He was just bringing them drugs.
  10. My family is awesome.
    And I'll give thanks to that.