Things My Twelve Year Old Cousin Has Said to Me

I think she might be a society divorcee trapped in the body of a 6th grader.
  1. After I told her I got a new job on a Disney channel TV show: "I used to watch that show but, honestly, who has the time?"
  2. "Would you like me to put Charles or William on the phone?"
    Charles and William are not her two ex-husbands. They are her two younger brothers who everyone else in the word calls Charlie and Billy.
  3. "They got me the camera I want but not the accessories! It's all about the accessories!!"
  4. "I just don't see how you can call yourself an animal lover and still eat meat, but I guess maybe that's just me."
  5. "Oh, you're on Instagram? Aren't you a little old for that?"
  6. And a follow up: "I don't believe in social media. I mean, no offense, but I just feel you could find a much more productive use for your time. But... Totally up to you."
  7. Then, thirty seconds later: "OH MY GOD, CAN I BUY FROZEN ON MY IPAD? PLEASE MOM?! I LOOOVVVEEE FROZEN! PLEEEAAASSSEEE?!?!"