Thoughts I Had While Getting My Hair Cut

Desperately needed a haircut so I walked into a local hipster barbershop without an appointment...
  1. Why am I the only girl here? Is it weird that I'm here? Do they not cut girl hair?
  2. Oh, wait. There's a girl.
  3. No, she's just waiting for her boyfriend to get his hair cut.
  4. I hope I get one of the women barbers.
  5. Oh shit. That girl barber just called my name. Look at her hair! And her tattoos! She's way too cool for me! When I tell her I just want a trim she's going to think I'm a total loser. Maybe I should shave one side of my head!
  6. Can she see the tattoo on my neck? Will that make her think I'm cooler?
  7. She's not taking to me.
  8. That's okay, I hate making small talk anyway.
  9. But why isn't she talking to me? All the other barbers are talking to their clients.
  10. It's fine. She's probably just concentrating on my hair. Like a professional.
  11. WHY DOES SHE HATE ME??!!
  12. Do other people have these thoughts?
  13. I'm bored. Can I look at my phone or is that rude? Probably rude... But she's not talking to me...
  14. Is she cutting too much off??
  15. That man is bald. What is he doing here? What is that barber even going to do to his head?! He has no hair.
  16. Ooh a dog!
  17. Is this place dog friendly? Could I bring my dog?
  18. After I leave is my barber going to make fun of how quiet I was to all her barber friends?
  19. Maybe I should start a conversation.
  20. No, that seems weird.
  21. Maybe I could ask her opinion on if I should dye my hair lighter.
  22. Nah.
  23. Why is that little girl staring at me? She seriously won't stop staring! I feel like maybe she's stealing my soul!
  24. Another dog! A Great Dane! That dog is so big! I love it! I want to have it!
  25. Maybe I could talk to the barber about dogs. Everyone loves dogs!
  26. Nah.
  27. Look at how the Great Dane just lays on its bed. So cute.
    I then asked the barber about the dog. She said he comes in a lot and always just lays in his bed. I responded "Wow. So cool."
  28. Wow so cool?!?! What is wrong with me? My one chance to make a conversation and I totally failed.
  29. I'm so bored. What does she think I'm thinking about?
  30. Maybe I could make a list about this.
  31. She just made a joke! Laugh! Oh god, you're laughing too much. You're practically scream laughing. Control yourself!
  32. My hair looks nice.
  33. I think I should go lighter.
  34. How much are you supposed to tip again?