1. I want to share a moment when I had the opportunity to do more and I did not.
  2. I regret not standing up to my friend and rejecting her racism.
  3. The thing is (and this is not an excuse by any stretch), I am really just not accustomed to such vile and blatant racism on the daily, so I think I was shocked into submission.
  4. I know better now.
  5. I spent a week with my friend in the US. I won't say where. After all, she is still a person I call a friend. I still respect her despite her choices.
  6. The whole week she bad-mouthed someone of a different culture. I tried to suggest she was being a bit dramatic to quell the vitriol yet it was falling to deaf ears.
  7. She was dealing with some pretty massive life changes and depression/anxiety issues, so I let it go. Brushed it off as transference, frustration and venting.
  8. At the end of the week we went to the baseball. It was such a great night. In fact, the highlight of my stay there.
  9. On the train on the way back, she raced on and took a seat, with her hand on the one I was to take.
  10. I saw a lady older than me wish to take it and I motioned to her to go ahead and take it.
  11. My friend said, "No! You cannot take this seat", and abruptly motioned for me to sit-tf-down. I'm not normally so passive. I sat down in dismay.
  12. She leant over and whispered in my ear, "don't let that {religion} bitch take this seat". I was shocked. I could not look at her. I did not know what to think.
  13. She insulted me by insulting this lady and I sat in silence.
    At this point, I beg of you to not be hating on my friend. I did enough of that for all of us until I found forgiveness in my heart. If you must, hate on me for not being better.
  14. I sat in silence. Dumb-founded silence.
  15. This was my mistake.
  16. I said regret. I don't normally say I regret things because I am usually very considered with my choices. I do regret this though.
  17. I regret not having the fortitude to get to my feet. Look at my friend. Offer the lady 'my' seat. And stand anyway if she declined.
  18. The most human thing I could have done is explain to my friend why her words insulted me. Find a way to let her know the depth of my love, compassion and tolerance.
  19. Over ride my disgust. Over ride my fear.
  20. Ask her if she truly stands by her vitriol or if they are just words she learned from her socialisation.
  21. Ask her if she would be willing to see if it is in her heart to not be so racist.