1. driving the 50 minute journey from his palliative care facility to the retreat of my bedroom.
  2. tears so thick I could barely see the red lights to stop.
  3. hands at 10 and two, knuckles white
  4. anger that he was so god damn debilitated from his former glory of a man
  5. and asking for him to be taken because it was the only merciful thing to do
  6. my tears dried up, the lights turned green, I saw the hills of home on the horizon
  7. I smiled and realised that although I'll soon be daddy-less, I'll be abundant in his spirit
  8. I realised his tenacity had taken residence in me. I had a visceral realization for how fortunate I actually was.
  9. I was acutely aware that I chose to be optimistic through the pain and emotional chaos.
  10. and to this day, when my lenses are fogged and my tear ducts are fatigued, I still choose this path.