The Thing About Confidence

from my own experiences.
  1. I built my confidence over time. Rise from the ashes style. To be fair, I was never at the extreme end of low self esteem, neither was I at the high end. I just had hurdles to bounce.
  2. The thing about confidence that I've observed is the depth of the fall from the height of my recent level of confidence.
  3. The crevices are fewer and far between, yet boy-oh-boy are they deep.
  4. The good thing is, having built my confidence over time means that each crevice has a series of strong-holds, lessons from my past I can hold onto and pull myself up from.
  5. It takes effort though. A lot of effort. Effort most certainly worth making. Effort none the less.
  6. In retrospect my vanilla confidence levels of yesteryear were comforting because the crevices, although many, were puddles in comparison.
  7. More recently I've experienced a new fall. At first it's like tripping into one of those puddles.
  8. It's a new kind of confidence crevice. Never before experienced. They seem shallow. Like the puddles of yesteryear. Yet they aren't. They are quicksand. Immediately and slowly start dragging you down. There are no strong holds here. You need to think and survival thinking is exhausting.
  9. You survive these and (I imagine) your confidence humbles.