Thoughts Of A 37 Year Old Going To A Psychology Ball With A 22 Year Old..

Not a @dfly style thoughts of.. literally my thoughts!
  1. Ok, was this the smartest thing you've done all week? Agree to going to this ball? I expect by the age of my date, it will be just a room full of drunk millennials.
    (Not the worst fate in the world, I might add)
  2. Wait..? What's after millennials? That's what these kids will be. Shit.
    Bizarrely, Google suggests a Millennial is 1975 - 1995. Fuck that shit. I'm Gen X, get your facts straight Google.
  3. Calm down. It will be a great networking event in any case. These 'kids' are your classmates for potentially 6 years.
    Networking? What are you? 40? Don't you dare say 'nearly'.
  4. *looks at face* Where's that Kiehl's sample?.. I need to pull off at least 29. Stop with the age shit already. Found it. Apply it like a mask!
    I feel better already.
  5. Now get ready, get sassy, and get on the bus like a good, povo student!
    Such a bad hair day. Eh. Low-knot will suffice.
  6. Wait, that title makes me sound like a cradle snatcher.. haha!.. let's roll with it.
  7. How the fuck does Carrie Bradshaw run in heels? I can't miss that bus. Maybe Carrie doesn't wear pantyhose. No wonder why, these fuckers are slippery.
    The pantyhose are for ladies, I am a lady, therefore I wear pantyhose. That's such a strange word. Pantyhose. Hmm. Though, that's a valid argument. Seriously though. Run it through a truth tree. I'll wait.
  8. I think the bus driver thinks I'm an escort. I can live with that. I wish I made the money of an escort. Wait, no, I guess the bus driver doesn't think I'm an escort. I'm catching the fucking bus!
  9. I don't have my headphones to distract my thoughts. That was dumb, why didn't you bring them? Pockets. Fuck that. I demand only pocketed dresses from this formal occasion forward..
  10. Icebreakers. What can I open conversations with? No, no, do not open with @Lisa_Fav's icebreaker. That was hilarious but inappropriate and an inside joke no one will understand.
  11. Yawning? Are you serious?! Wake up Nanna!
    Tbf, I was waiting for Nic at the front of his college. I do look like an escort in this heavy coat. Oh well.
  12. Red carpet entrance? But of course! Meet my date, Nic. He's the 22 yo millennial in the title ✌🏼️
  13. So nice to learn about Nic, what brought him here and what he might do with his education.
  14. Ok, I see those girls slut droppin'.. I know I can.. and will.. Mamma waiting for some Kanye.
    OML, Gold Digger came on, the kids went mental.. good to see.
  15. A girl remembers me from semester one lab! We dance. Yes! Blessings.
  16. OML, the kids went off to Bieb's 'Baby'! Ok, I was there. I enjoyed it. And apparently I dance like a millennials bc, yo, I was accepted!
  17. Ok, truly, I am surprised. An 80s Australian artist takes out the night's one token 'slow song': Horses by Darryl Braithwaite. It is such a beautiful thing to watch young love blossom 😍
  18. Ok, so this list is less 'thoughts of' and more 'memories of a..' ...so...
  19. This snap says it all...
    I wonder what Freud might suggest?! Yes, Freud. Deal.
  20. Why the fuck are these women sitting on the floor with their shoes off? Is this acceptable these days? Is this a thing? Stand the fuck up! Ignore the pain. Be respec.. I can't even.. Is this honestly a thing?
    I'm from old school classy. We only take our shoes off on the dancefloor.. even then though. It's called numbing gel and pain killers ladies. Truly shocked!
  21. A kid turns to me and says, "I remember this from high school". I found it so amusing and also comforting, because so did I.. yet for me, in high school, the song was fucking chart topping! I memoralised the moment by snapping with Fav.
    $70 open bar later, I don't recall the song. Maybe Smash Mouth, that was his guess, not mine.
  22. So, years of dancefloor drinking and I can slut drop without splashing my sophisticated red wine on that girl's stunning white dress. Watch and learn, youngens.
  23. All in all, when the lights are dimmed, we're all just humans enjoying beats, vibes and DJ music.
    Grease Lightning, though, Dude? Stop, next track. This ain't a wedding, son.
  24. Old school banger after banger interjected by a Drake or Panda bridge, it was like Year 11 social, yet now I was confident, have cleavage for fucking days, and a wisdom amongst my peers.
    Ok, so on the d-floor, I finally met someone, only (!) 10 years my junior. It was like meeting my Soup Snake.. 😏 (whoa!.. a line from The Office at 1am.. girl, got game 🙌🏼!)
  25. Let's track back.. I was so conscious about my age at the start.. and let's be fair, I was the oldest there (including the wait staff)... but.. (and despite the drinking!) this guy (bless his precious heart) declared.... "you can't be more than TWENTY FOUR" (!)
    Ok, yeah, he is drunk af!.. but hey, I'm taking it!
  26. After mention: my uber driver Ali was a fucking legend. We waxed lyrical about lyric changes to Get Low (crime) for the radio.. and Lemonade being too femme-angry. Ali got 5 ⭐️s.