vulnerability vs. EGO.

  1. I wrote this, this morning: Self Love.
  2. ...and then went about my day. I listened to a lot of Katy Perry.
  3. I made progress on my research essay...
  4. ...and then I down-tools and listened to Cheryl Strayed (who has joined the ranks of my girl-crush squad)
  5. At the end of the day, my day of self-love, I understood why my heart hurt this morning and it's an important lesson, hence why I'm sharing it.
    Because you've told me I'm not alone in these experiences.
  6. - the story + the answer -
  7. I did something. Something that I felt vulnerable doing.
  8. I was 100% vulnerable, that is for sure, but little did I know, that something was being done by my ego.
  9. That something was rejected.
  10. I felt rejected. My vulnerability was rejected. I felt incredibly hurt.
    I can actually visualize my ego quietly sneaking off like a child who knows they did wrong.
  11. They were smart: they were atuned to my ego's inauthenticity for one, and they shut it down appropriately.
    I was this morning and still now grateful, yet for different reasons.
  12. Now it is true, that that something was done from a good place. A vulnerable place. Yet it was in fact the work of my ego and there is no denying that.
  13. So I understand and I feel and I know, I wasn't rejected. My ego was. And that makes all the difference.
  14. After the day I've had, which hasn't been bad, just 'quiet', I am choosing to nurture my introvert. I am naturally far more comfortable as an introvert. I need to pay more attention to my humility.
  15. I'm returning to my inner home base.