Things Club Soda Cannot Remove

  1. An annoying song stuck in your head
  2. A mean roommate
  3. Ads on Hulu
  4. Unwanted body hair
  5. Sadness
  6. The common cold
  7. Human blood
  8. Nail polish
  9. Ladies' pants
  10. Your old mattress
  11. Hobos
  12. Sin
  13. Inner thigh fat
  14. Cat hair
  15. Lower back pain
  16. File corruption
  17. Small children on airplanes