REASONS I HAVEN'T CLEANED THE DISHES YET

  1. The science experiment is going so well!
  2. Decided to just stop eating
  3. Making a statement about the traditional roles of women in the household. Waiting for a guy to come clean the dishes.
  4. Convinced myself the dishes are merely a figment of my overactive imagination
  5. Developed a sudden inexplicable fear of sponges
  6. Afraid of hurting the dishes' feelings by implying they're "dirty"
  7. Working with the White House on confidential business. All I can say is the dishes will have to wait! It's a matter of national security.
  8. Dishes? What dishes?