If I Could Just Have One More Day...

Tomorrow marks the 15 year anniversary of losing my Dad to his 8 year battle with brain cancer. This year I'm struggling more than others. So, Dad, if I could just have one more day with you...
  1. I'd ask you if you knew that was me holding your arm as you slipped out of our world.
  2. I'd ask you for your side of the story.
  3. I'd go snorkeling with you and hold your hand as we swim over sharks, like we used to.
  4. I'd ask you to explain to me what you learned about Deepak Chopra's work that seemed to go over everyone's head 20 years ago. And, how you were applying it.
  5. I'd tell you how very proud I am to have inherited some of your greatest traits.
  6. I'd then ask how to best use them for success as you briefly enjoyed.
  7. I'd ask you if you approve of my tattoo and what you think about the next two I am thinking about.
  8. I'd ask your advice on personal matters of the heart and mind that I think you could relate to. Things I believe I get from you, and only want to ask you.
  9. I'd randomly hug you frequently through the day and tell you how constantly I miss you.
  10. I'd turn on one of your faves and dance with you in the kitchen. And then I'd put on one of my faves and ask what you think! We'll both be smiling wide.
  11. I'd thank you for the confidence you gave me and how I now understand it (mostly!).
  12. I'd ask you if you're proud of my achievements this year (as these are my most proud). I'd give you that "I know, right" look when I tell you my math gpa.
    I'm sorry I was so terrible at math when you tried to teach me.. I'm understanding it now though.
  13. I'd ask if that was you I could feel pushing me along during those hard moments of my marathon training and run. I did it for you and learned it was all for me. Thank you.
  14. I'd ask you if there was anything you left unsaid and then listen eagerly with the ears of a woman starved of your wisdom for 15 years.
  15. I'd ask you to recite Invictus for me. I'd ask you to recite it again, slower.
  16. I'd ask you if you liked the eulogy that my sisters and I shared of you. I'd also ask if you liked that we chose 'My Way' as your song.
  17. I'd ask if you returned as a butterfly, or if that was just a bizarrely coincidental totem we allowed ourselves to be comforted with.
  18. We only have a day, so we can't go to your mine sites, so I'd ask you to describe those times to me. I miss hearing the passion in your voice. I miss hearing passion and ambition so badly.
  19. I'd ask you what you perceive my strengths are.
  20. I'd ask you if you believe psychology to be the right fit for me. If you said yes, I'd ask you where in the field you'd think I'd add most value OR where you think I might thrive.
  21. I'd ask you about the after-life.. if it's just one giant party (read: orgy) and if you can just flip between heaven and hell at will.
  22. I'd ask you to say, "mannaggia la miseria" and the other (more profane) Calabrian sayings you'd curse. For old times sake.
  23. I'd touch your face and stare with awe, that it is you.. it's really you.
  24. We'd go and have fish and chips at the beach for dinner. A few beers to round out the most amazing day.
  25. We'd watch just one more sunset together.
  26. I'd ask you about the tumor. About the pain. About the torture. I can handle the knowing now.
  27. You'd bid me farewell by tucking me into bed. No, I'll never be too old to be your little girl.
  28. You'll tell me "good night my little shadow, I love you"
  29. And I'll smile, a tear will escape. Life will continue on, as it does, with your memory shining stronger and even brighter in my heart, mind and soul.