THE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN COPING WITH BEING DUMPED AND BEING FIRED

  1. Spontaneous crying and panicking about the future.
    What does my future hold? I planned my life around this? Now what?
  2. Sweatpants. Hair tied. Chillin' with no make-up on.
    What/who do I need to look good for? Not like I'm going anywhere today.
  3. Time to update your social media.
    Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram - time to get rid of your current status and update your profiles so your next prospective mate/employer knows you're available and the right choice for them.
  4. Apps. So many apps.
    You thought you found the one so you deleted your profiles on Indeed and Monster or on OkCupid and Tinder. No matter what, that just means filling out the same annoying registrations over and over again...and find a great cover photo.
  5. MY WALLET'S GONE! MY WALLET'S GONE!
    Ok, your wallet doesn't disappear, but your money certainly will. No longer sharing the financial burden of every purchase or knowing you aren't making any money makes spending more stressful than it used to be.
  6. The purge.
    Getting rid of anything you ever got from them, including items with their name (or logo) or any photos/memorabilia.
  7. The binge.
    Eating the pain away. Enough said. This also applies to alcohol and/or narcotics.
  8. Feeling a like a kid again.
    The sudden need to rely on your parents again for financial and/or emotional support. Who doesn't think to immediately call mommy or daddy when they are heartbroken.
  9. Cuddling with the couch.
    You could be too sad or too broke. Going out on the weekend basically means you are going to the grocery store to pick up ice cream and Chinese take-out before settling in with Netflix.
  10. Sparing yourself from spare time.
    With all this free time, you rediscover or find new activities to keep you distracted. It's weird how time feels like it's passing a lot slower when you don't have something to wake up to/for.