(MY) ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING

I started babysitting at age 11 and babysat for at least a dozen families fairly regularly for over a decade, including being a part-time nanny for one family while I was in college. It's mostly my own former stupidity that makes me terrified to leave my child with a babysitter.
  1. One time, while babysitting for a family on our street, I told the mom that the baby "cries for so long when I put her down for a nap, I wish I could just knock her out so she'd sleep!"
    In my defense, I was 11, it was my first gig and I was kidding. However, now that I'm a mother, I would have instantly fired my ass.
  2. One time, the parents told me to turn the vacuum on when I put their infant daughter to bed. I let that poor girl cry for far too long before I actually turned it on and she instantly fell asleep.
    I was convinced they were trying to trick me. I was always looking for parents trying to trip me up with false instructions and nanny cams. I honestly have no idea where that paranoia came from.
  3. One time, I babysat for a neighbor by taking her son for a walk around the neighborhood for an hour and she paid me 50 cents.
    Literally 2 quarters. I was like ✌🏼. But I did learn an important lesson about negotiating salary before committing to a job.
  4. One time, I was babysitting two little girls all day (ages 1 and 3 maybe?) and I bundled us up to play outside in the snow and locked us out of the house.
    THANKFULLY, they lived only a few blocks away from us so I immediately walked to my parents house and my dad helped me break back in.
  5. One time, one of the little boys I babysat, told me I was beautiful, "just like mommy."
    He was 3 and obviously one of my favorites. 😘
  6. One time, while babysitting for our crazy neighbor, I washed some of her dishes and broke a glass and she was so pissed.
    My mom was very firm that I should be a helpful babysitter and if the kids were napping or watching TV that I should clean up in some way so I thought I was doing what I was supposed to do. I had even cleaned it up and there was a huge pile of dirty dishes so I could have not said anything at all and she wouldn't have noticed. Ah honesty, you fickle friend.
  7. One time, one of the little boys I babysat dragged me upstairs with his brother and sister (a toddler and infant at the time) to show us a Lego tower he'd built...
    And then made us wait outside the door forever. I kept asking when we could come in and he kept yelling back, "YOU CAN'T RUSH ART."
  8. One time, while babysitting two little boys (I babysat them in exchange for music lessons from their mom) we took a walk and a truckload of teenagers drove by and called me fat.
    Humiliating. And also still puzzling because I didn't know any of them. Kids are so mean sometimes for no reason at all.
  9. One time, one of the little boys I nannied for, told me he liked my curly hair because it was "twirly like a roller coaster."
    He and his sister were my all-time favorites, we had so much fun together. They were both in my wedding.
  10. One time, the family of 4 devil boys I sometimes babysat in our neighborhood when I was desperate for cash, managed to LOCK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SPRAY ME WITH THE HOSE.
    Then after I went home, I had to walk back so that the parents could make them apologize to me. That was the worst part. I should have told them to walk their fiendish selves over to MY house.
  11. One time, those same devil boys taped a NASCAR race while I was babysitting them...
    And after I made them clarify 3 times that they were allowed to that (oh the pre-cell phone/texting days when you were forced to rely on the word of a child 😩) they were like, "oh no, we used mom & dad's wedding tape!!" And after they'd sent me into a legit panic attack, they fell to the floor with spasms of laughter. A horror film should be made about them.
  12. One time, I sighed to the little girl I nannied for, "It's been a hard day's night"
    And she, age 5, responded, "and I've been working like a dog." ❤️❤️❤️