1. I have, admittedly, an irrational fear of spiders.
  2. I won't call it an actual phobia, but my fear isn't of them biting me, but that they move so quickly and I'm afraid they'll get on me and crawl all over me and I won't be able to brush it off.
  3. Like I said, irrational.
  4. Yesterday, I was browsing @biz's old lists and I read this lovely one about preserving the lives of baby spiders: WHY MY CAR WINDOWS ARE OPEN OVERNIGHT
    So sweet. Couldn't relate in the slightest.
  5. Last night, my BFF of a gazillion years came over so I lit the tiki torches on the back deck before it got dark and we sat out there and talked for 2 hours.
    So lovely. Old friends are the best.
  6. When she was ready to leave, I capped all the torches and as I reached for the last one, I felt a spider web on my arm and instantly jumped back.
    A reaction honed over 2 decades.
  7. I could see a strand of it in the darkness so we shined our phone flashlights to see if the spider was there.
  8. And lo and behold:
  9. There was an enormous spider web - at least 3 feet wide - right in front of the tiki torch.
  10. And a big fat spider, sitting right in the center.
  11. We, of course, proceeded to freak the hell out.
  12. Neither of us could believe this bold mofo had silently spun his web just a couple feet away from us while we talked.
    I mean, pretty incredible. AND TERRIFYING.
  13. So this morning, as I was getting my son's breakfast ready, I went out onto the deck to see this badass spider in broad daylight...
  15. Just in case you think I'm the only one over-reacting to this, here is how my friend reacted:
  16. I have a new respect
    Translation: IMMOBILIZING FEAR
  17. For spiders.