CONVERSATIONS WITH MY COUSIN TONIGHT
Here is a detailed and unexaggerated list of things my 25yr old cousin and I discussed tonight. We are real AF.
- •The time I got so drunk and waffle stomped my vomit down a hotel shower drainSee: waffle stomp
- •How I'd totally let Jussie Smollett put his sword in my moonlight.See: He Man.
- •Which family members would get snubbed at our wedding.FYI we are not planning on marrying each other. Respective partners. We are close, but not that close.
- •The episode of law & order svu where Dylan Mackay was a giant rapist and raped Clair Dunphey and Darlene from Roseanne.FYI season 10, Ep 1
- •The time I watched my Mum clock someone for calling her a slut.Mama takes no shiz.
- •The ingredients that I should use to prepare my fresh juice tomorrow before work.FYI: coconut water, half an orange, half an apple, 1/4 carrot, half a small lemon, two slivers of ginger, 1/4 med cucumber, half a stalk of celery and some ice. Best ever.
- •All the times that old men have shamelessly hit on me.They are like a moth to a flame. The flame being me. FYI.
- •How a foot with one toe would look.I feel like I could vomit. What kind of sick asshole would do something like this?
- •The weatherIt's awful. And cold.