1. "SMH"
    Whenever I see someone write 'smh' it makes me feel a strange desire to go and buy a fully fledged black and white tabloid sized version of the Sydney Morning Herald and shake my head at all the awful news. 😨
  2. "Shipping"
    No not talking about the postal service. I happen to frequent tumblr when I want to get in touch with my exuberant youthful side and I saw some other middle aged regressed teens talking about how they "totes shipped" Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson from svu (guess I'm not as youthful as I feel). What's wrong with you people, must you shorten everything ?!? You want them to be in a relationSHIP so you're "shipping" them? Oy vey! For shame, for shame!!!
  3. "I CANT EVEN!"
    You can't even?! You can't even.... What? Take a shit? Breathe? FINISH A SENTENCE?! Finish a sentence, dickbag!!!!
    CONSTRUCT RESPONSIBLE SENTENCES!!! what is so wrong with the English language that you need to turn everything in to a verb! It's not cute, you just seem like a giant dipshit.
  5. "X took on the Internet and WON"
    This is for like when some normie goes viral for a good, moralistic reason and everyone applauds. Oh tell me more about how that person took on the ENTIRE internet and WON. Fairly large call. Took on the complete epicentre of pornography and depravity and then all the piracy giants, the weird subcultures of social media groups and fan pages and dedication pages and business pages!! And then won! Please tell me, what did you win? 🤐🤐🤐🤐