REASONS WHY MY MUM IS AWESOME
My Mum is awesome. She's also unwell with cancer and its devastating me. This has made me reflect on the reasons why I love her and why she is just so bloody cool.
- •On my ex boyfriend moving out and breaking up with me via text message.Ok, up you get, lets strip your bedding and lets wash that ugly mfer right out of your bedsheets!
- •When Michael Jackson died.I was a huge fan. Like, beyond epic proportions... Like traveled the world to see him huge. Like, met him a bunch of times, huge. And rather than ridiculing me for crying the big ugly cry like I'd just been told I have leprosy, she held me close and babied me and cried too.
- •She's protective as shit.When we were delivered news that she had lung cancer we were both so shocked. Instead of her losing her shit, I lost mine so bad they almost had to get medical help. And even though this awful thing was happening to her, she spent the entire time making sure I was ok. Yep, way to make it about myself lol.
- •She has spent ample time looking after me in my many yrs of childhood sickness.I was /am a heart kid. I grew up in and out of hospital with constant surgeries and discoveries of yet more shitty heart lung problems and spinal problems and fucking internal organ problems. And my mum was a friggin trooper. There has never been a time where I woke up and she wasn't by my hospital bed. Where sometimes daily she took me to hospital to have an iv line flushed and would take me back home again just so I could have my home comforts. I never once heard her complain.
- •Wendy The Witch was her homieMy dad once told me a story where she sat on the couch with a bowl of cereal on her lap while watching Wendy the Witch. At the end of the cartoon Wendy waves. My mum, absorbed in the cartoon, waved back with great gusto and spilled that shit all over the place. This is probably more hilarious if you've met my Mum. *** she was a grown adult.
- •She is not intimidated by anyone.Strong AF. I've never seen anyone intimidate my mum. Perhaps this is an untrue statement but if so, she's never allowed anyone to know they've intimidated her and to me that's as good as. I wish to be more like that.
- •We watched nip/tuck together.There's no bonding experience better than watching a show like nip / tuck with your mum. It was like a softcore porn drama. We used to take bets to see how long before Christian would bang a girl. And we would supply explicit commentary.
- •There's no better person to take shoppingShe is my best clothing critic. Bold, tactless and incredibly honest. And if I need encouragement to spend money, she is right there. We often head to Kmart together and walk around aimless, enjoying the tranquility of cheap buys.
- •She finds hilarity in awful things.Even when she has no control over her daily basic functions, she is able to laugh rather than become frustrated and cry.... True champ.
- •She owns half the Internet.I've never met a woman with more tv shows to watch or an extensive knowledge on where to find just about any tv show you've ever watched or heard about.
- •She was cool enough to hang with bands when she was a teenager.I'm aware there's probably a name for both parties involved here. But still, my best friend and I were the friggin Romy and Michelle of high school. Guys my own age wouldn't even talk to me. 😂
- •She's always understood meAnd even when she hasn't, she's always at least tried when other have just put me in a box.
- •Her sense of humour is so warpedOn one hand she enjoys toilet humour and nothing is funnier to her than a good fart joke, but on the other hand we are both incredibly visual people and conversation often takes a very very silly swear-y turn. Once we tried to see how many times we could drop the cbomb in one car trip as well as creating new adjectives combining the c word in to a sentence. (Spoiler alert: more than 100)
- •She's an artistNot like some flimsy fifty-somethings woman who's kids have flown the nest and has taken up pottery and thinks she's quite good. No, my mum is a creative genius. She is good at any friggin art medium. I know that cos she's also fickle 😂. She can paint, she can draw, she can sculpt, she can build... I've seen her bravely saw apart an incredibly expensive cupboard and make it look even better. Me on the other hand? Not such a creative genius. I can poop shapes? 💩
- •She let me get to know her as a person.I don't think I'd be as close to my mum had I not gotten to know her not only as a mother but also a person and better yet, my friend. People always say their mum is their best friend, but it's not lip service. My mum is literally my best friend. There is no one in this world who is quite like her and who can be the friend to me that she can and is.
- •She can cookJust something else she's good at. Whether it's taco Tuesday or Sunday roast, she's great. She can cook traditional Eastern European better than my Eastern European relatives. When I drop over the first place I go to is the fridge or the pantry to feed my face.
- •I love my Mum more than anything else in the world.And I will fight for her with everything that I have because I desperately don't want to lose my mother and my best friend at the same time. It's not fair. Pls pray for us.