I work in a bank by day. I want to punch everyone in the world by night.
  1. β€’
    When you ask if you can get any freebies with that cash. πŸ™„
    Oh sure, you're soooo hilarious and so fucking original.
  2. β€’
    When you give ID to literally every other thing that asks but get indignant about stolen identities when a teller asks for it.
    No one gives a shit about you. I don't want to assume your fucking identity you have like, three fucking dollars.
  3. β€’
    When you tell me that you present this Cheque all the time and they cash it without question even though it's a closed cheque. Without ID.
    Idc. And I know you're lying. And also idc. Go find that Bozo that allegedly served you and bowed to your every whim if she was so great.
  4. β€’
    When I ask for photo ID and you give me a social security card.
    Does this have a photo of you on it? Is it identification? No. GTFO.
  5. β€’
    When I ask for photo ID and you give me literally anything that is not photo ID.
    I don't care that you've got your loyalty card from Starbucks or an ID bracelet that tells me you're diabetic. Is it photo ID? No? GTFO.
  6. β€’
    When you get your PIN wrong and you need me to reset it. Again.
    Here's a tip. If you are too dumb or old to remember four numbers, you are too old or dumb to utilise a debit card. Live a cash only lifestyle because I am over resetting your PIN.
  7. β€’
    When you cough right on me and I feel your spittle splash my hands.
    Cover your fucking mouth, grown adult.
  8. β€’
    When you flirt and you're over 80.
    This is not your hey day. I do not want to give you a sponge bath. Leave me alone before I mace you.
  9. β€’
    When you tell me about what a beautiful day it is outside.
    Yeah. Thanks. That's fucking helpful when I've been stuck inside all day serving the likes of you. πŸ–•πŸΌπŸ–•πŸΌπŸ–•πŸΌπŸ–•πŸΌπŸ–•πŸΌπŸ–•πŸΌ
  10. β€’
    When you pull money from an undergarment and hand it over while its still warm and sweaty.
    Um I don't want to feel your ball sweat thanks.
  11. β€’
    When you hit on me forgetting that I can see your history of bad debt and your balance.
    Telling me you could take me to lunch after you've just withdrawn less than what it costs to buy a happy meal is a bad idea.
  12. β€’
    When you start telling me your life story disregarding the snake line of people behind you.
    Hot tip: idc. I really don't.
  13. β€’
    When I ask how you're doing today and you literally say nothing but instead throw money at me.
    I will stop the transaction here. Literally stop. I will wait til you acknowledge that I've stopped and look at me in the face to see why I've stalled and when you say, "what?!" in that quizzical surprised way I will say, "I said, how are you today!" And you'll apologise for being an arse and answer me. Ironically, idc how you are but I do care about being ignored.
  14. β€’
    When you come in to the bank three minutes before closing time with a suitcase of unbagged, uncounted coins some denoms not even in use any longer.
    I will give you a stack of coin bags and tell you you'll need to bag them up and bring them back or go to a bank that has a coin sorter. I do not coddle people like this. They're usually unemployed hence why they've scrimped every coin in existence and they've had all day to do this.
  15. β€’
    When you come in to the bank three minutes before closing and ask to open accounts and Internet banking.
    Ffs. I need these accounts for my KPI. It breaks my heart to send you away. It breaks my heart even more to stay back and open them after hours for the sake of a KPI.
  16. β€’
    When you walk in and expect that someone is free around the clock to have an hour appointment with you to do a home loan or lending application.
    Yeah right. You're the only person who needs lending, hold on let me get the red carpet out for you!!
  17. β€’
    When you carry on and tell me today is THE ONLY day you have available to talk home loans and u took the day off precisely for this reason only.
    Firstly, idc. Secondly, BULLSHIT. when I go throw the diary for appt slots your week suddenly seems more free when I tell you the only slots I have left are mid morning on Friday. You are not more important than the dozens of other people who called to make an actual appointment to avoid this kind of disapointment.
  18. β€’
    When you glare at me when I shut down my station to go to lunch.
    Sorry, am I not allowed to eat? That's ok, you've just come from brunch with one of your old wrinkly friends, my gut is singing the sound track to Chicago, but it's ok I'll serve you, you're obviously more important than my vitality.
  19. β€’
    When you walk up to my station without me asking "next thanks," and im in the middle of paper work.
    I will ignore you completely until i am done. And if you dare say a word, I will tell you that I am in the middle of something and you'll need to either take a step back in to the queue or give me a few moments. If you walk up while im in the middle of putting a large sum of money aside I tell you in no uncertain terms to go back to the queue.
  20. β€’
    When you tell me we need more staff.
    You rude asshole. Im working my ass off stressed and as quick as possible and you have the audacity to tell me we need more staff. Do I look like human resources?! Do I look like I have a say in hiring? GTFO.
  21. β€’
    When you think serving customers is literally my only job to do so I should drop everything and run back to the station cos you've been waiting longer than 10sec
    If you saw my fucking pile of paperwork.....πŸ˜’πŸ”«
  22. β€’
    When you call out from the queue, "how long are ya gonna be sweetheart, I'm in a rush!"
    Maybe you should have timed your fucking bank trip a little better. I'll be as long as a piece of string.
  23. β€’
    When you are self entitled chauvinistic arsehole who calls me "pet" and says "good girl" when im done with your transaction.
    Oh, golly, I just don't know how I managed to get this job when I'm clearly just a lowly female!